It's funny what little time it takes a person to realize just how fragile there heart is. How one small kink in your armor can become the new home of the enemy. He will sit there and just when you think you are on the up and up, he sucker punches you and knocks you out for the count. How that tiny little rock on that path of life your running on becomes the main suspect in the crime of a face plant just when you were reaching full stride.
Tonight has been such a roller coaster of emotions and I decided that sitting at home just wasn't an option. So I drove, and drove, and then drove some more. All the time praying this would not be the same as always. The same thing I always do, run. There have been times in my life where I have gotten on the freeway at 2am and considered just driving until I ran out of gas and see where I ended up, start a new life and be the man I thought I should be. But in the past few months I have realized that running is not even an option. I know I need to go to Him with all my problems, my worries, my hopes, my dreams. In time I'm hoping that will happen. It is a process for me and I still don't know if there will ever be a day where I fully bow to His loving hands. All I can do is my best to serve him.
See the thing is I have a big heart. And a big heart takes one big break to ruin it. But over the years I am pretty sure my heart has been breaking into small pieces and slowly is eroding away. Those small pieces have been picked up by so many different people from very different walks of life. Some I know I can never get back and others I know I will when I embrace that person inside the gates of paradise. Here's to hoping that at the end of my days that more pieces are picked up by people that truly care for me and not just strangers in the crowd.
So my Eve, my Delilah.....there will come a day soon when we will say goodbye. But as our season together comes to a close I want you to know that without you my heart somehow, won't quite be whole.
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