So today was the first day of what I'm sure will be many more sad moments where the reality that I was leaving hit me. Funny enough it wasn't with a person, it was my dogs. I was doing my usual morning thing getting ready for the day and I usually always take a minute or two to sit down with my two dogs Lucy and Moose. As everyone says my dogs are the weirdest dogs you will ever meet. One can wag her tail without shaking her whole body and Moose......he's just moose. As I sat there giving them their due attention it hit me that I have never gone more than about 3 weeks without seeing them. We've had Lucy since my sophomore year and up until I had to be out of the house at night, she was my dog. And Moose We've had literally since he was born. And it got me to thinking.
My entire life I have always been on the staying home side of my mothers tearful sobs of farewell. Now if any of my family ever reads this you know exactly what I'm talking about. Up until about five minutes before a visiting family leaves my mom is holds herself together perfectly fine. But in the last five minutes she turns into this mass of tears. I have always just sort of sat back and watched her while laughing a little to myself. She is just so overcome with these emotions all of a sudden and I can't help but think "Mom, were going to see them soon enough." But we have always been partners in that way. She cries, I wave......that's how it goes. I think a lot of the reason I don't get so worked up is my mom just always does it for me.
This goodbye though......this goodbye is going to be different. This is the first time in my life I am going to have to look into those tearful eyes and realize I am not going to be walking back into the house with her. I'm going to be the one getting in the car and getting on a flight. Man........
In a more light note(haha) the past few weeks have literally been insane with God preparing me in huge ways that I couldn't deny myself from talking about it. There has been so many things where I sat up at night asking myself if I was really prepared for this and then He decided to throw me into a situation where I had no other way of accepting the fact that He was making me ready.
On Wednesday I sat down for a normal service at Ekklesia and what I got was more than I could of ever asked for. Westley did yet another one his awesome sermons and then after he did something that I think I've only seen him do one other time( I haven't gone there long so you lifers can correct me). He called up all of the prayers leaders in the church that were at the service and called forward any unbelievers, people that needed to repent, and people that just needed prayer. I have gone to churches in my time where this same event had happened and the response was minimal at best. As I sat there in the second row on Wednesday I was on the brink of tears as I watched person after person walk up to the front and bow their head in prayer with a brother or sister in Christ. There was a horde of people in the front of the gym. I could literally feel the power of prayer moving through everyone. And in between fits of holding back tears and singing as loud as my lungs would allow I would look to my left and see everyone standing up and crying out their praises. It was just such a powerful moment and instilled in me that this is why I have faith.
So as I hold back tears as I type this. Tears of sorrow and of hope I yet again want to thank everyone who has brought me up to this point in my life. The constant encouragement, the gentle rebukes, the times where I just sat there and cried (God knows there's been a lot of those) and you hugged me. I have fallen so short of the glory but with God's help you have always been that cushion, that hand, that made sure I never hit the cold pavement. For a prayer request I would just ask that you would keep doing what your doing. It has not failed you yet. As I restate it in words that B.O.B. has so awesomely put it.
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